Thursday, 22 October 2009

The Nick Griffin Question Time Drinking Game

When I was young and my parents would argue, I would become very upset. I would sit on the sidelines and listen for a bit (Kermit style - "halfway up the stair is the stair where I sit") then when my emotions took control I would tear down the stairs and shout at them both for being 'aweful parents' who should 'get a fucking divorce, cause im fucking sick of you arguing' etc. To this they would both redirect thier anger at me and forget thier differences. When I eventually pointed out this messed up situation to my mother, she told me that I need to learn not to - shove my oar in.

Occasionally that woman says things that stick with me for life. Since the Nick Griffin thing has flooded cyber space I have decided to keep my oar out. Perhaps because:

A) There are more than enough people out there capable of making what I believe to be intelligent points about the show/the party/the consequences of freedom of speech? Yeah that makes sense.

B) I'm concerned that the show might be underwhelming after Griffin waters down the party's ideology? For instance, they have a commendable policy about protecting NHS workers from being attacked. That's fair enough. A bit odd. I sort of think it goes without say. But nice anyway. It's true, he might dilute himself, but that's far more dangerous. He might actually charm people.

C) I lived in Leeds for three years and have secretely aligned myself with them? no...probably not. I would never deny that I've had problems with the Asian population in Leeds. We haven't always seen eye to eye. But then I had the same problems with all the inhabitants of Leeds. If I will prance about a northern city covered in sequins, an hours worth of make up and my hands down some local art student-boy's trousers, I should expect some problems.

D) I'm bored? Yeah, maybe. I've been aware of the BNP all my life. I know they're a bad thing. I pity people who need to be told. Where have you been? Crawl out from your rock, turn off X-factor and wake up to the world!!

E) I prefer to take an abject route? True. Sometime soon I might treat you to a Joe Nockles Missal in defence of patriotism. Tread that thin line that Morrissey made famous of loving a country, lamenting its changing identity and trying not to cause offence.

However... I couldn't resist getting a little bit involved so I bring you this:

The BNP vs LOGIC Drinking Game (copyright Joe Nockles)

Ok, so its not revolutionary to suggest that the BNP might be a tad racist/biggoted etc. So lets have some fun with it! Gather your friends, get some WHITE rum. Make some WHITE russians...[insert further drink puns here]...

Drink upon hearing the following:

- "liberals"
- "the silent majority"
- "unsustainable population"
- "It's high time..."
- make our streets safe "again"
- "Common sense"
- "we speak on behalf of ordinary people"
- "For too long now liberals have..."
- "brainwashed" our children etc

Drink LOTS when:

- you dispair because you are reminded that: The British National Party has over 100 parish, district, borough and county councillors, a seat on the Greater London Assembly and two seats in the European Parliament - That's right, your country is stupid.

So, conclusions:
*I failed in my persuit of not "putting my oar in" (sorry mum).
*I'm getting pissed tonight.
*There are a lot of stupid people in Britain. Honestly, the general public is, on the whole, fucking stupid. Unfortunately everyone gets a vote.



  1. Bloody love you, Joe. Thoroughly enjoyed reading this, you are a great "blog-ster", now let me go wash my mouth out after that vain attempt of yoof language.

  2. !!!
    you're a brilliant little cluster of atoms, brother-in-"law" (brother in lawlessness? brother in anarchy? that'll do..)
    and i like that profile picture of yours.. those screwed up figure in a green painting.. damn i'd swear they're familiar hehe. (yeah, my beloved's arms are as good as models as tools for creation)
    the four of us should get "married" on top of a volcano. ok?
    be good to yourself and to my little bro.